Friday, February 24, 2006

Still the Boss

I met my wife at work. We both worked at UPS. She was one of the important people, and I wasn’t. She was a full time supervisor, and I was a part time supervisor. For most of the time that we worked together she was not really my boss, but she was higher up than me. She was also smoking hot. Finally one day, the change was made. My wife became my direct supervisor. Let me tell you, I was set. She had no choice but to see me everyday. I no longer had to go out of my way to see her. I didn’t have to make excuses as to why I was at the other side of the building. I was going to be able to work my magic, without having to work very hard. It was like I had died and gone to heaven. That lasted 5 minutes.

The thing about my wife is that she was good at her job. She was focused, and she didn’t take any shit. She was firm. She had her rules, and they were to be followed. I on the other hand was getting by with my good looks and charm. She had this thing about paper work. The thing was, she wanted it done. They used to make us fill out these forms. They had a form for everything. They had forms to fill out that were about the forms. It was silly really. Anyway, I did not do my paperwork, cause I found it to be time consuming. I was all about running an effective operation. I ran the tightest ship within the tightest ship. I had gotten nothing but accolades from my previous supervisors. I was winning awards and stuff. Then she comes in and actually wanted this paperwork.

We got quarterly reviews from our supervisors, and it directly reflected the raise we got at the end of the year. My wife killed me. She ripped me up on that review. It was the worst review that I had ever gotten in my UPS career. Paperwork? We’re talking about paperwork? That’s all I could say. So at my year-end review I am sitting with an even higher up guy and he can’t understand why I had three great quarterly reviews, and one bad one. The answer is simple I told him. “Vicki likes me, and she overcompensated the negative as to not show her affection for me.” The guy laughed and said, “Dude, you don’t stand a chance with Vicki.”

This all happened before we ever started dating. Now we are married for almost 9 years. She is still my boss. She is still smoking hot. I would still go out of my way to get a glimpse of her. I can still get by with my good looks and charm. She still has this thing with paper work. She likes receipts when I purchase stuff or go places. It has something to do with balancing the checkbook or something. I am afraid to ask for a review. I am afraid to know where I stand.


Blogger WILLIAM said...

By far the best post yet?

Do you guys refer to the bedroom as PD3?

10:44 AM  
Blogger Odd Mix said...

LOL! Oh that was outstanding!

11:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marriage Certificate? Kids Birth Certificates? Deed to the house? I have no idea... My wife is good at paperwork too. My guess is that you guys can't go into a Staples store without 'doing it' by Aisle 4 !!

1:21 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I think it's great you still refer to her as hot.

Men never say nice things about thier wives....

pretty cool.

and guys go at it in the staples store? niice.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

I also love that you refer to your wife as 'hot' in any post you mention her. I mostly hear guys complaining about their wives.

Not my husband. Other guys.

I hope.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous RzDrms said...

best line i read all year: "I would still go out of my way to get a glimpse of her."

5:13 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I might just like her as much as I like Lauren! I wouldn't ask for a review if I were you...wait till she brings it up. Stacie

9:46 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

yeah, way better than P&B


11:58 PM  
Anonymous kalki said...

This was great. So glad you have a blog, Lawnwhisperer!

11:00 AM  

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