Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Real Retirement

Things happen to me everyday that I could write on this blog. I refuse to write anything serious or sad, as I find that to be a downer for me, and anyone that is reading. Serious and sad is for 60 minutes, or 20-20, not for a little blog that has an audience of 10. I can turn almost all situations into humor, which is the way I try to approach each day. I operate under the “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry” theory. So Dad vs. Dad is strictly written with humor in mind.

I will not write about anything that is not somewhat funny. I will not write about my bad days, and I will not write about my negative happenings. I do not find any therapeutic value in writing about sad events, or fights and arguments. This particular approach of mine, limits what I can write about. I read, and have read many, many blogs. I find that most of them are decent, but are also very repetitive. Different events, and or experiences are written in the same way. Basically I am reading the same thing, over and over, and over again. My writing has become that same very thing. Different story, told the same way. I am repetitive in my writings. Funny stuff happens to me, and I tell the story. I tell the story the same way I told the last funny story. Rocky 6 comes to mind. Get over it Sylvester, move on to something else.

It was fun when it was fresh and new, but that was a long time ago. I can’t be just another blogger. I need to take my jokes to a new audience. I should go over to My Space, or whatever the hell it is called. I need to go be fresh and new again. No offense people, but the time has come to retire. I do not want to bore you with my meaningless rants any longer. I cannot be just another run of the mill blogger, and that is where I am heading.


Blogger Stacie said...


Will be sad to see you go, but hope to see you guest post over at P&B's again at least...
I hope you and your family have a VERY Merry Christmas!

If you do come back, I hope you'll let me know, I really enjoy your blog.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

That makes me very sad. You may think that you write a repetitive blog. But I don't think so. I still think it's fun and funny, and witty and I like to read it.

Hope you'll at least come back every once in awhile to update..or tell a story, or whatever.

take care...

2:03 PM  
Blogger sari said...

I don't think you're repetitive.

Is life repetitive? I don't know, I'd prefer to think it's not.

You are funny and one of the first links I click on when I check my blogs. I've enjoyed reading this year.

2:05 PM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

I thought you should know, when most people retire they end up spending more time with their wife and kids.

2:19 PM  
Blogger jd said...

I felt the same way about my Blog, LW. That's why I don't really post anymore. It happens. But I always felt that your blog were funny and entertaining. But it's true, to the writer it seems repetitive. I don't think there's any way to avoid it. Hope to see you still over at William's blog once and a while. If you come back, let us know! Best wishes.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You will be missed. I only read a couple of blogs and have really enjoyed your stories.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous RzDrms said...


maybe today's just a bad day and soon you'll feel so funny again that you'll want to share it again with us?! ::sigh:: i'm so sad, i might never fertilize my lawn again, just to rebel.

3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhhh Dad vs Dad was supposed to be funny! Oh now I get it.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet if you weren't the middle son, you would be much more funny.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will miss your column.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous the dogwalker said...

So, so sad to see you go, again.
Look forward to your next new post in 12-14 days. Enjoy your Kwanza break.

4:16 PM  
Blogger ~aj~ said...

I think more people read & enjoy your blog than you may realize! Hope you will at least post from time to time.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

I think this is another attempt at attention. You need more stroking darling...

*stroke, stroke, stroke*

There, better yes?

6:02 PM  
Anonymous linda said...

i've enjoyed it! i've found it very funny and not AT ALL repetitive! hope you change your mind!

6:36 PM  
Anonymous RzDrms said...

where's momo9 when we need her to fuss her boy for just completely give up, throwing in the towel, letting his brother win when really he's just as good as p&b?! MOMO9, save LW!!!

(p.s. what other man do we know that's afraid of dogs and of small creatures like mice and actually admits it?!)

8:12 PM  
Anonymous kelly said...

I agree, you may not realize how many people actually do read and thoroughly enjoy your blog. I too have this marked as one of the first blogs I check each day. Please reconsider LW, you're great! If you won't come out of retirement, atleast convince Momo9 to pick up your slack! :)

9:10 AM  
Anonymous stepblog said...

We will miss you Lawn Whisperer.

And don't feel bad if you want to come back later. It's worked for many celebrities who gave a "retirement" tour only to return shortly after.

Make sure you take a shower after visiting MySpace, it's kind of filthy in there.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all, you actually have to write more than once in a blue moon to become burned out! You are wimping out to your brother's superiority!

10:01 AM  
Anonymous the dogwalker said...

Hey, I wouldn't mind if "scottsdale girl"
wanted to stroke me!!!!

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you are retiring. Come on now, don't be cruel. Your posts and the resulting comments are always worth the reading.

SO, if it is not enjoyable to you anymore, stop. Life is short.

But just know you will be missed.

Needsome the Elf (the saddest of Santa's elves)

4:04 PM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

*snort* at dogwalker.

show me your blog baby.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh, I'm sad! I really like reading your blog, even though I don't comment on it. (But to be fair, I don't comment on ANYONE'S). :(

You will be missed. :(

9:04 PM  
Anonymous the dogwalker said...

Att'n: Scottsdale Girl,
Unfortunately I have no blog, I lost it in a bizarre electrolysis accident. But maybe Lawnwhisperer would let me guest post and then you could stroke me?!?!?!

9:16 AM  
Blogger Alikat Corner said...

I will definitely miss your stories. You are very funny, not at all repetitive, and I laugh out loud at your stories.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Lawnwhisperer: Do your bud a solid and let him guest post if yer gonna be a wimp and stop.


5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a lame attempt at attention! Shame....I'm not buying it.

At least stay on long enough so we can all appreicate the dogwalker and scottsdale girl get together...someone cover MOM09's eyes!

6:54 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

what a pisser.

i always thought you were funny.

but if ya dont wanna blog, then ya dont wanna blog. i get it.

10:45 PM  
Anonymous momo9 said...

Seems like the only time you get many comments is when you write a retirement blog. Please don't do it, L.W.!!!! Don't retire! Even though you leave the same blog on line for 20 days, I still tune in, everyday, hoping to find new stories. Why don't you come up with a new blog name. I liked that "once in a blue moon" get it! Cute! then folks would understand why you don't blog every day. We need you, don't leave us now!!!!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Everyone shhhhhh mom's here.

2:29 PM  
Anonymous linda said...

oh once in a blue moon is a cute name!

1:26 PM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

And please *define* "run-of-the-mill-blogger" for the rest of hacks will you?

*smiles pretty and bats eyelashes*

1:07 AM  
Blogger Lynn said...

You would rather quit than be forced to venture outside the gates of comedy? That would be sad. Hey - I said SAD. You wrote something sad, yes - that's it - this post was SAD. And you thought you could only do comedy!! I say write whatever the heck you want. It's your blog. How about you take some bad or sad thing that happened and write a limerick about it (it could even be a little cheeky)? How about some satire? The world needs cynics, you know. I think everybody knows that the world is not all lollipops and gumdrops. Come over to my place (warning - it's warped). I've got a serial short story about to wrap up. I have issues and I hate Christmas, so I'm taking my frustration out on Santa. Sure, the story is twisted, but it's an example of something different. You don't have to quit writing, unless you really want to.

5:04 AM  
Blogger Lynn said...

If you quit, I will miss you. I know I don't comment, but I've had you on my blogroll for a long time.

5:10 AM  
Anonymous Benj said...

Quem di diligunt, adolescens moritur

7:50 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Retirement, like rehab is for quitters! Don't be a quitter!
P.S. This post was not funny and it is SOOOO last year. A-hem, I'm just sayin'.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:52 PM  
Anonymous RzDrms said...

where are you?! this fake retirement is really getting old. hurry up and do something funny to your poor, unsuspecting family and then come write about it.

2:15 PM  
Blogger ThePapaDog said...

WTF! I've finally added you to my link list and now you may retire...

Plus the girl will be pissed. Which means I have to put more of an effort on my blog! :)

Hope the Dogwalker is right.

1:33 AM  
Blogger Peanutt said...

That just sucks.

2:54 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Ahem, just checking.

9:48 AM  
Blogger gypsy said...

damn. you really ARE gone.


11:54 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Happy Birthday!

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, in case you still read your comments... I hope you never become as bad as this guy...


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