The Shop
The Shop has been good to me. The Shop was there for me in my biggest times of need. The Shop was holding back tear after tear for many years at my house. I am afraid to say now, that The Shop has lost its ability to work for me anymore. I loved The Shop, but it is over. We had a nice run, The Shop and I, but they caught on. The gig is up, and I am left dealing with the pain. I’ll miss you Shop, and thank you, but I must come up with something new.
Every now and then Victoria and I will clean out the playroom. We will take the toys that the kids do not use anymore, and give them to people we know that have younger kids. This allows us to have room for their new toys, and keep the place in order. Without fail, after we cleaned the place, one of the kids would be looking for one of the removed toys. They would come calling, “Mom, Dad, where is my truck with the blue motorcycle on it?” My wife and I would look at each other with that ‘oh, shit’ look, and think here comes a meltdown. But me, I’m quick with this type of stuff. My response would be, “Luke, we took it to the Shop to get fixed.” He would look at me funny, but be happy that we were getting it fixed. He did not know that the thing wasn’t really broken. He would go and tell his brother, “Kyle, daddy took the toy to the shop to get fixed.” Off they would go, playing with something else. Another beautifully told lie to the kids.
I can’t even tell you how many different things went to The Shop. We have had everything from baseballs to board games at the shop. Action figure upon action figure have been at the shop. The beauty of the shop was that they would forget about it after a while, and never ask again. We were getting rid of their stuff, but they thought we were fixing it. It got to the point where they would say, “hey dad, did you take my army tank to the shop?” I would reply, “ Yeah, it had to get fixed.” “OK”, they would say, and keep on playing. No tears, no complaining, it was nice.
The Shop thing doesn’t work anymore. Someone must have told them that the Shop doesn’t exist. They are onto me, and I need a new answer. I can’t tell them that I threw the stuff out. Now what? I’m screwed. Maybe I will switch and say that I sent them out to get cleaned. Yeah, The Cleaners.
Every now and then Victoria and I will clean out the playroom. We will take the toys that the kids do not use anymore, and give them to people we know that have younger kids. This allows us to have room for their new toys, and keep the place in order. Without fail, after we cleaned the place, one of the kids would be looking for one of the removed toys. They would come calling, “Mom, Dad, where is my truck with the blue motorcycle on it?” My wife and I would look at each other with that ‘oh, shit’ look, and think here comes a meltdown. But me, I’m quick with this type of stuff. My response would be, “Luke, we took it to the Shop to get fixed.” He would look at me funny, but be happy that we were getting it fixed. He did not know that the thing wasn’t really broken. He would go and tell his brother, “Kyle, daddy took the toy to the shop to get fixed.” Off they would go, playing with something else. Another beautifully told lie to the kids.
I can’t even tell you how many different things went to The Shop. We have had everything from baseballs to board games at the shop. Action figure upon action figure have been at the shop. The beauty of the shop was that they would forget about it after a while, and never ask again. We were getting rid of their stuff, but they thought we were fixing it. It got to the point where they would say, “hey dad, did you take my army tank to the shop?” I would reply, “ Yeah, it had to get fixed.” “OK”, they would say, and keep on playing. No tears, no complaining, it was nice.
The Shop thing doesn’t work anymore. Someone must have told them that the Shop doesn’t exist. They are onto me, and I need a new answer. I can’t tell them that I threw the stuff out. Now what? I’m screwed. Maybe I will switch and say that I sent them out to get cleaned. Yeah, The Cleaners.
posted by lawnwhisperer at 4:35 PM
15 Comments:
I guess the Shop also has the Iron and the Vacuum?
if you are really clever you will figure out how to make them give their own toys to younger friends or charities . . . and be proud and happy about it ;)
Yep, Monkeydragon's right -- our kids now fight over whose toy it was originally, so they know who gets to feel good about giving it away to someone else who needs it more now. We've suggested they share the "credit", but they prefer their individual gifting identities... *sigh* Still, it's cool to see them get excited about being generous.
You could always say the "toy fairy" came and gave them to children who don't have any toys. The next time you want to do a "clean sweep" you could ask if they want to chose a toy for the toy fairy to take (and then add the others when they aren't looking.)
If that doesn't work, you can always tell them you've been trading their toys for lawn care stuff.
I useta show my kids on TV those lil Ethiopian kids and say we sent them the toys to play with. And they would be totally cool with it. Maybe yours will want to do the same?
I love the idea of the Shop though. Wouldn't it be great if they could stay lil like that forever?
Do what we do - Yell back - "Hey it's not MY responsibility to know where YOUR toys are - if you put them away - you'd know where they are." But you have to LOOK like you know what you are talking about - because they can smell fear.....
Throw in an arms crossed thing and a stern look and they GO find something else quick... lol
Whisperer,
Can you tell me where all my wifes sexy underwear went?
Tell 'em mommy was playing with them and lost them!
Shift the blame--->
Now that's funny! When we were little my Dad told me that he was taking our old sick dog Boots out to see the Bone Man--where Boots would always be happy...does that mean Boots died?
Um, apparently you haven't been keeping up your end of commenting over at Poop and Boogies and we were told to come and give you a "kick" in the right direction....
by the way--love your blog and I'll be blogrolling you soon!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
If they are old enough to figure out the shop scheme, then it is time to bring out the big guns. GUILT. Works every time. Tell them about all the less fortunate kiddies out there who don't have ANY toys to play with. How you have been donating to the cause. Ask them to pick a toy to "donate." Good lesson for the kiddies to learn at an early age! (Not the guilting, the giving.)
Time to shift from deception to guilt. Oh the little ones grow up so quick!
There was some really crappy advice people are trying to give you!!! And wow... was that a shot at your wife william took? ouch...
Anyway, hey look if you really want that truck with the blue motorcycle back... all you had to do was ask, instead of writing it here and making me feel Guilty in front of all your blogger friends!!! I will bring it back in tomorrow!!!
Oh and does the wife know you called her Victoria on this blog? wow aren't we being very formal today!!!
-somehow related-
hilarious!
That's quite funny....I see you have Williams sense of humor, OR does William have your sense of humor?????????
Post a Comment
<< Home