Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Not your average soccer practice

My dad coached all of us nine kids in every sport we played. He says he never saw anything like it before. 9 kids, 3 different sports, for let’s say 15 years. That could be what, 30 different teams? 30 teams times an average of 12 kids per team equals 360 kids. My numbers are probably off, but not by much. If they are off they are under the real number of kids that he has coached, and yet he has never seen or heard of anything like what I went through at my first Soccer practice.

I had the typical kids not paying attention. I had the tears from being kicked in the shin. I had the questions from out of nowhere. I had the attention deficit issues that most 5-6 year olds have. I would be teaching the kids the goalie position and say, “Does anyone have any questions?” I had a kid raise his hand and say, “My sister pinched me today!”
Why he felt the need to tell me that at, at that particular time is beyond me, but that is what coaches deal with. None of that bothers me, actually I get a kick out of it. But I had one kid do the ultimate.

I had two lines going. We were doing a shooting drill. The kids were to dribble through the cones, and then shoot the ball when they got to the line. Things were moving smoothly until I heard, “EEEEEW Stop Peeing on me!” I turned my head and there was one little kid with his pants down peeing in the middle of the field. What is a coach to do there? How do you stop that? What do you say? How do you react, and what the hell was this kid thinking? I said, “Alright, practice is over.” This is going to be a fun season.


Blogger T. said...

I start coaching soccer in two weeks. And thanks to your post, I now am more excited than ever. At least I know what to be on the look out for. A little pisser...

5:33 PM  
Blogger jd said...

LOL That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was Dano at practice?

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Max's Favorite Uncle said...

There is one thing in this post that I disagree with, and that is the line about your Dad coaching one of his kids in EVERY sport they played in. I know there is one sport I played that he didn't coach, and that is this sport specifically. I can't believe you canceled practice for a peeing incident, I know someone who held up a baseball game because he had to do #2, obviously not on the field but he was the pitcher and had to leave the field to take care of business, and came back and finished the game.

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

I'm sure glad I decided to read this tonight. I would have spewed coffee all over my computer had I chosen to read this tomorrow morning. My kids are not old enough for sports, but it's things like this that make me wish they were. I can only hope that someday it's MY kid peeing on another.

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's soccer!!!!!
Boys pull their pants down and go after other boys.
Soccer is after all an "Alternative Sport"

9:12 AM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

You could have said, "You did good emptying your bladder."

10:42 AM  
Blogger Busy Mom said...

The phrase "like herding cats" comes to mind. I have a 4 year old playing soccer.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Odd Mix said...

Whooooeeee. Who was the poor kid being peed upon? And how did the parents take it?

2:53 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

You might have given the young boy a high-five or pat on the back. Urine contains large amounts of urea, an excellent source of nitrogen for plants. He likely saved the field. And you call yourself the Lawn Whisperer, puh-lease!
Lois Lane

3:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

That's a riot! Happy Easter. Stacie

8:22 PM  
Blogger Effie said...

I suppose he took it literally and thought he should REALLY dribble through the cones! Sounds like an INTERESTING season!

2:33 PM  

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