Monday, April 10, 2006

The Tale of Two Lawns

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the day of wisdom. It was the day of foolishness. It was the day of light. It was the day of darkness. It was a day of hope. It was a day of despair. This day, this time, was the opening of whispering season. This is the Tale of Two Lawns. We have my lawn, and everyone else in the neighborhoods lawn. This day was Friday April 7th. I cut my grass on Friday. The official start of Lawn Whispering is here.

I hate stealing from Charles Dickens here, but he had a way with words. So Friday I went out and set the bar. The grass is cut in perfect diagonal lines. It is a deep dark green, while all the neighbors are still yellow. I am about to put down my second application of fertilizer and all the other stiffs have not even done their first. I have forbidden my kids to play on the lawn now. I tell them to play on the neighbor’s lawn, cause they have nothing over there to damage anyway. Hell, that is why the township has parks and playgrounds, so the kids don’t ruin their parent’s lawns. That’s the way I think anyway.

AHH, I love the wonderful smell of freshly cut grass. The beautiful sound of the mowers’ engine as I zip across the lawn. It doesn’t get any better than this. It really doesn’t get any better than whispering season.

9 Comments:

Anonymous somehow related said...

Ahhhh and now we know why your kids are the way they are!!! This explains everything.....

oh by the way I paid a couple of high school kids a couple of bucks and a few cigarettes to take their cars up on your lawn!!!

1:55 PM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

Yeah..but does you neighborhood have a Yard of the month award?

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you whack on Friday also?

7:26 PM  
Anonymous Michael said...

John,
You zip across the lawn with a sulky.
That is worse than a cart behind a tractor for Dan

9:25 AM  
Anonymous grace said...

I'm deathly allergic to the pollen in freshly cut grass. It makes my lungs close, I'm really not a fan of lawn and my husband owns an irrigation company, go figure

10:22 AM  
Anonymous Teri said...

did you ever mention where this lawn obsession came from?

also, could you spread your wisdom with a post on the very basic lawncare, i.e., going from winter to spring and then into summer. I'm never sure what to use for each season and going to Lowes or Home Depot only boggles my mind more.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Effie said...

YOu can come and mow my 7 by 10 patch of grass in the backyard--although we don't have a lawn mower yet(or the grass--the sod will be coming in a couple weeks)

12:52 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Oh for Pete's sake, you're my neighbor, and I'm the one with the yellow grass. Fertilizer? I don't know if he knows he supposed to user that... I'll be sure to tell him. The irony is that my BACK yard is gorgeous, but the front leaves something to be desired...It's so awesome that you have such a passion for this. Have fun!

10:28 PM  
Anonymous momo9 said...

The "Moles" are coming! Look out. They are coming north from Florida. You will have your hands full. Sometimes they get as big as wolves! Beware! They are coming!

8:01 PM  

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