Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Pee Champ

In the midst of my ultrasound adventure yesterday something strange was said to me. Something that I can honestly say was never said to me before. Something that many people have never heard before, I’m sure. It was a very odd comment, one that I could not really respond to. The only thing that I could really think of was the Ray Romano skit about giving himself an enema. For those of you who never heard Ray’s standup routine, it’s funny and I recommend the cd.

Midway through the ultrasound I have to empty my bladder so that they can check everything after it is empty. So you basically have before and after pictures of your kidney and such. I wrote about that yesterday. So after I empty out, I have to lie back down on the table. The technician re-applies the cold jelly and starts checking me out again. After a few moments she says this, “You did good emptying your bladder.” Now, it took me a moment to register what she had just said. She basically told me that I did a nice job peeing. What does that mean? “You did good emptying your bladder.”

I had a few things running through my head. First, was she watching me? Was she impressed with my pinpoint accuracy? Did I have good form while emptying out? Was this a contest and I was the fastest pee-er she has ever had. Then I started thinking, can you do a bad job of emptying out your bladder? Maybe some people are not good pee-ers. I was thinking it was a strange thing to say, so I said, “What the heck does that mean?” She said, “Well you emptied all the way out, so you did good.” I still did not get it, and 24 hours later, I am still confused by the comment.

So the technician thinks that I am a good pee-er. My wife is constantly harping at me about somebody missing the target at home. Should I get the technician to send a note home to my wife stating that I do a good job of emptying my bladder? This way my wife can focus her attention on the real culprits in the house. I am a good pee-er, the technician told me so. I’m feeling so confidant that I am willing to challenge anyone to a pee contest. How many other people have ever been told they are good at peeing?


Anonymous Teri said...

Maybe by the ultra sound she could tell that you had emptied good? Sorry, don't want to burst your bubble by saying this.

3:04 PM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

As far as the PEE it fro distance or accuracy?

3:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe she was trying to keep her mind off your big balls

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once

10:03 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Dude, this was the perfect opportunity to tell the tech, "I am the Voidinator." Or to say, "I will void, you up!" Or tell her, "I have voided like no man on Earth has ever voided before." Or warn her, with, "I am the great and powerful voider."

But no. You just walk away wondering what a good peer really is. Ya nut!
Lois Lane

11:00 AM  
Anonymous somehow related said...

Hey did you tell her that you voided with 'No Hands' ... she would of really have been impressed!!

2:15 PM  
Anonymous somehow related said...

I would have came back at her with:
' yeah not bad, especially since the water in that bowl was so cold, I can't believe I was able to fully void !! '

2:17 PM  
Blogger Best of Blogger said...

Hello Lawnwhisperer. I'm dropping by to let you know that Effie has nominated you for BEST OF BLOGGER, Sexiest Male Blogger. The voting has began. You may want to let all of you're readers know to come and cast a vote for you. Good Luck!

11:57 AM  
Blogger BigBill said...

Hey do you have to sit when you Pee?

7:32 AM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

I've never been told that. Too funny :) I think you should get a note, LOL.

8:02 PM  

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