Triple D's

I am not the world’s biggest chicken, but I am definitely in the running. I am certainly not proud of the fact that things scare me, but I am not too proud to tell people about it. As evidenced by my last post, I am not the big tough dad that I am supposed to be. I get more scared at things than my kids do, and my wife has to be the strong one. In my house, if we hear a noise in the middle of the night, I am not the one checking it out. The only reason I would be getting out of the bed, would be to hide underneath it. So noises pretty much go un-investigated. There has been a few times where I actually pretended to go check out a noise. I would leave the bedroom, close the door behind me, and just stand there. I would wait a minute or two, and then come back in and say it was nothing.
That is like two solid minutes of Fear Factor right there.

The three things that scare me the most are dogs, the dark, and the dentist. I do not like any of them. I don’t like the thought of any of them, and I do not like being near any of them. When I die, and if I am sentenced to hell, you can bet that I will be sitting in a dark dentist office with dogs biting at my feet. The three things that scare me most are the Triple D’s. Now, most guys love triple D’s, but me, they have a totally different meaning. So my wife has to take on the tough guy persona, cause me; I don’t have the stomach for it.

We have nightlights throughout our house. There is one in almost every room. Most people would think that they were for the kids, but they are really for me. We can run out of a lot of things in our house. We can run out of milk, or bread, or just food in general. Hell, I don’t even mind running out of toilet paper. But nightlight bulbs, I have them stashed by the dozens. I am the electric companies dream. Whenever I am in my house alone at night, every light is on. It’s safer that way. Maybe when I grow up I will be tougher. Maybe my fears will dissipate with time. Maybe, just maybe I won’t have to have my kids go upstairs first at bedtime. What? Of course they go up the dark stairs first. They have to make sure the boogieman isn’t there. Then they give me the all-clear sign, and then I tuck them in.