Dear Santa

Santa should work Easter as well as Christmas. I understand the religious part of Easter. I know what the holiday is all about. I am aware of the meaning of Easter. I am a bit puzzled by the Easter Bunny. I don’t get it. I find it to be down right silly. I personally find Santa Claus to be a much more believable character, and frankly a guy that even adults can believe in. But the Easter Bunny, what the fuck is that?

Is it not much more realistic that Santa Claus comes around on Easter and leaves a big basket of hyperactivity for the kids? Santa has a bunch of little helpers, so is it not more believable that the elves dyed all the eggs and hid them through the house and the yard? How believable is it that a great big giant rabbit makes his way around the world leaving candy and stuff for all of the kids? Santa has reindeer, and they fly. That is how he gets around the world in one night. How is the rabbit doing it? I don’t understand it.

As a parent, I find it a lot more manly to be playing Santa Claus on Christmas Eve than I do to be playing the Easter Bunny on Easter Eve. It is almost to embarrassing to even say the words, “Ok honey, the kids are asleep, time to be the Easter Bunny.” There is something about it that just irks me. I enjoy both of these holidays, but Santa is just a cooler character.

My wife thinks that I make a bad Easter Bunny. She thinks that I half assed it this year. Here’s the thing, I went to hide some eggs in the back yard, and it was a bit chilly. I did not have any shoes on, and the grass was wet. My feet got a little cold, so most of the eggs were in a semi-circle close to the back door. All right, all right, all right, I did not get very creative in my egg hiding, but the kids still had fun. They still found all of the eggs, and enjoyed themselves. That’s the point, right? Anyway, I’m writing a letter to Santa. I want to see if he can find it in his busy schedule to work two days a year instead on one.