Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Funerals Are Funny.

Guest Post by Momo 9. Mother of the Lawnwhisperer and William (and others but they don't count).

I love my Mom and Dad. I know they are both enjoying each other in their heavenly paradise. They both lived long happy lives. Mother outlived Daddy by 4 years. Those four years were difficult for her and for us. Most of us have families and friends to help us get through the sad times. Mom’s grief was so deep, we couldn’t help her. Her health was not the best. She was wheelchair bound for about 25 years (Arthritis, hip and knee replacements 4 times over). She was not a complainer. She was truly a happy person till Daddy died. Depression consumed a lot of her days. She struggled through it. This past August she died suddenly. It was quick for her, sad for us. When we were making funeral arrangements with the local undertaker, who was a friend of the family, one of my sisters commented that Mom was very self conscious of her rolls. Those little fat deposits that form under the bra and go all the way around the back. When my sister asked why, now at 85 years old, these bothered her, my Mom said she didn’t want Harry to see her like this. Dad’s name wasn’t Harry.

My sister of course was shocked. “Harry who?” she asked. My Mother replied with the last name of the funeral director. “Harry will see me naked. I wish I didn’t have these rolls on my body.” My sister laughed and said,”You’ll be dead, so you won’t be embarrassed”. And Harry won’t care. We did naturally share this with Harry. He did laugh!

Another funny thing happened. After we all left the hospital (when Mom had passed away). We met at her house to discuss particulars. Someone asked, “Where are her teeth?” Her teeth? She still had most of her own teeth, but there was a plate that she wore to fill in some upper blank spots. Why do we want her teeth? Well maybe the funeral person will have a tough time getting her jaw to look normal. Some of us actually started to look for her teeth. We didn’t find them. She wasn’t going to need them where she was going anyway. Then we figured, if they weren’t in the normal cup where she kept them overnight, they must be in her mouth. We actually LOOKED for her teeth!

My mother had several canes, 2 wheelchairs, and an electric scooter. At her viewing, one of her children and a son-in-law showed up with canes, Neither of them had used a cane before. My one son commented to me that Mom-Mom wasn’t even in the ground yet, and folks were taking her stuff (meaning the canes). It happened they were not my mother’s canes, but both people needed them for health reasons that day. Just looked odd to my son.

I can remember, at a funeral of a friend, a long time ago, our family was lined up in pews in back of the church. During the service someone got a fit of laughing, and we all started to laugh. It was one of those contagious things. One person to the next. We all lost control. We had to leave, it was so bad. To this day, I don’t know what we were laughing about.

Guess the funny little things, help us get through the gut –wrenching pain that we feel when losing a loved one. Thank God for humor.

Why do people always say at a viewing that the dead look good? Dead people look dead. They do not look GOOD! Why do people always say that?


Blogger lawnwhisperer said...

Not only do dead people look dead, but they scare me. Closed casket is the way to go. Hey mom, I love you. Take that brothers.

9:50 AM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

Hey Mom, I love you more.

10:35 AM  
Blogger sari said...

My boys are home sick today and they are reminding me of you guys.

Nice story, Mom09, but your stories are always good ones.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous stepblog said...

Can momO9 just take over this blog permanently, please?

3:54 PM  
Blogger lawnwhisperer said...

Hey, yo, yo, Stepblog, what's with the shout out for momo9? Am I being voted off the blogger island? Is this some type of conspiracy to rid the blogosphere of the Lawnwhisperer? I don't think I like this. I am considering coming out of retirement, but not if the people are calling for my column to end. I am a blogger for the people, of the people. Where's the love?

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we all love you LW...but Mom09 is stepping up to the plate!!!

come back...show us what you've got!!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

yep, LW, Momo9 is at the plate, bottom of the 9th and two men on base.

Momo9 hits a grounder and goes to first....three folks on base........whatcha got? Got a grand slammer in you?

Also, I'm with you on the closed casket issue. I HATE going to viewings, CREEPY!

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Closed casket all the way, BUT, there was one time, when Grandma died, the funeral director "filled her in" a little more than she had, and she actually looked better, younger even! It was the only time I've ever seen it happen! We left the casket open and everyone who came said how good she looked, and she did!

Thanks for posting MOMO9...lets face it, we all love you...and glad to see all your kids don't always have to count!

LW, coming out of retirement? We'll believe it when we see it.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

Good to see you LW! Hope you come back and post soon!

Mom09, good story..thanks for posting!

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funerals are sad. Especially when you are sitting with bitterboy by yourself and the rest of the family is at the funeral home.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mom,

You are beautiful. I think you should have an open casket.

2:05 PM  

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