Choosing My Religion

At the time when we were deciding on where to get married things were a bit goofy. I was raised Catholic. My wife was raised Episcopalian. My soon to be stepdaughter was being raised catholic, and even attending catholic school. My wife is Episcopal but raising her kid to be catholic. This may sound strange to you, but it is apparently a tradition in my wife’s family. See, my mother-in-law is catholic, but raised my wife Episcopalian. So we had to have some debates over which church to use as our church. The Catholic Church had some issues, cause they always do. The Episcopal Church that my wife went to was too small. So we said fuck–it, and got married in a Presbyterian church.

So a Catholic and an Episcopalian got married Presbyterian. What’s wrong with that? It’s normal, isn’t it? Not only did we get married Presbyterian, but we had a female minister. Not only was she a female minister, I think quite possibly that she was a lesbian. (Not that there is anything wrong with that) So we have a bunch of Catholics coming to a Presbyterian church, where the head of the service is a female who quite possibly is a lesbian. The Catholics were probably having a fit. My wedding service was awesome. The minister was awesome. The little church with no AC was awesome.

My brothers were all groomsmen, and they got real ballsy in the Presbyterian Church. If I got married in a catholic church, not one of them would have the balls to behave the way they did. They all felt that they could get away with more, because they did not have that catholic guilt thing going. They did not have the fear of god in them that day. So they did things, like have our rings delivered by a UPS man. There is a story behind that, but I can’t get into it right now. That was some funny stuff.

So, my wife and I got married by a neutral party. I now have three separate religions that I am a part of. For me it is easy to understand, but my kids are a bit confused. Yeah, keeping up with my wife and her family tradition we are raising our kids opposite of what we are. Actually, we took this to a new level. Kristin is Catholic, Kyle is Episcopalian, and Luke is Presbyterian. It gets a bit confusing on Sunday’s but so far we are doing O.K.