Kristin, I Think

I think her name is Kristin. I have referred to her as this for the past 13 years, but lately I have become suspicious. My daughter is off at college now, due to graduate in May. I am a little concerned about her coming home, because I think she is a spy. I can’t quite put my fingers on it, but there must be something going on. She is constantly communicating with people that seem to be more important than me.

Kristin’s room at home is known as the communication center. Her entire days are spent with communication devices going. Our family computer is in her room, and it runs 24-7. She also has her own laptop computer, which she keeps beside her on her bed. When she is home, that laptop is running 24-7. Her Cell phone is now just an extension of her arm. It will have to be surgically removed some day, but for now, it is permanent. Kristin has the uncanny ability to be Text messaging one person, while emailing another from a totally different device. She has e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging, and phone usage all going at the same time. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to be this much in touch, unless they work for the CIA. She could be with the FBI, the Secret Service, or maybe the IRS. Thank god my wife does the taxes, or my daughter would probably report me for tax evasion.

She gets more calls in a day than I get in a month. Who could she possibly be talking to? We have the family share plan, but she ain’t sharing. There is something fishy going on here. I thought I heard her on the phone the other day, and she said “goodbye George.” I am assuming that she was talking to the president. The only time she does not answer her phone, is when I call her. I get her voicemail. I could be under investigation, and my daughter was placed here as a spy. I am telling you, I’m keeping my eye on her. Here’s another thing, she is obviously a top agent. Cause a regular agent does not need their laptop next to their pillow. See what I’m saying?